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| Being happy and playing while Mommy blogs... |
So I was sitting here this brisk, cool, morning watching Caitlyn play on the floor with her toys and I started thinking to myself, "I wonder if she knows that she is different?" And I don't mean different in the sort of way that she is a different person than you or I but different in the way her body was built. This is all she has ever known in her life: a large left leg and a small right leg. I just can't help but think that maybe she notices that each of her legs are very different in size and shape.
Maybe she doesn't know right now, but I someday she will....and what a horrible day that will be. I am going to have to try and explain to a beautiful little girl that God made her different than Mommy and Daddy and all the other little girls and boys. And I will have to do it in a way that won't frighten or sadden her. I have been thinking about this unavoidable conversation that I will have with her since before Caitlyn was born and to be quite honest it scares the hell out of me.
Am I overreacting? Or putting too much stock into this when really it won't be so bad? Either way, it is going to happen and I can't get out of it. I guess right now I am just going to have to have fun with her and hope that she doesn't notice that she has two very different legs and when she does finally come up to me and ask about herself I will just have to deal with it then. I don't think any amount of preparing is going to help; I think that I will just have to say what comes to mind. I can try to think of what I should say and get it all mapped out in my head but when it finally happens I think my heart is going to take over and it will help me tell the right things to her.
Maybe she doesn't know right now, but I someday she will....and what a horrible day that will be. I am going to have to try and explain to a beautiful little girl that God made her different than Mommy and Daddy and all the other little girls and boys. And I will have to do it in a way that won't frighten or sadden her. I have been thinking about this unavoidable conversation that I will have with her since before Caitlyn was born and to be quite honest it scares the hell out of me.
Am I overreacting? Or putting too much stock into this when really it won't be so bad? Either way, it is going to happen and I can't get out of it. I guess right now I am just going to have to have fun with her and hope that she doesn't notice that she has two very different legs and when she does finally come up to me and ask about herself I will just have to deal with it then. I don't think any amount of preparing is going to help; I think that I will just have to say what comes to mind. I can try to think of what I should say and get it all mapped out in my head but when it finally happens I think my heart is going to take over and it will help me tell the right things to her.
1 comment:
Oh my Caitlyn is such a gorgeous little girl. I am 25 year old twin who has KT Syndrome and my twin sister does not. The only thing I really remember about knowing I was different from the others as a child was my inability to participate in sports and I looked different. My Mom always made it very clear that God makes everyone a little different.She would say he had blessed us and even on days when I didn't think I could do it, he always knew I could and that I was made this way for a reason even if we didn't know that reason. I think it is an honest concern but I am sure what ever you do/say she will love you just the same.
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